How to know it’s definitely not even close to being love, episode 3

This will be the worst one.

Start by watching this decent video about a supplicating beta male and an outcome independent alpha male.  If you can forgive yourself for using those trite terms.

I realize the response to this is somewhat bifurcated.  Some people rarely see the alpha kind of guy, or if they do, he’s much less suave/funny and more a rude narcissist.  Some people don’t see the supplicating beta male very often, and the men they do see are of even lower status than our plucky button-down boy in the video above.  I mean, at least that doofus was out in a bar talking to girls.


Here is the kind of guy I suspect you’ve seen a lot of.  His story is so thoroughly what I’d expect… couldn’t have made it up better myself.  Let’s peek at the unhappy family:

Someone is hiding her wedding ring, and someone else is displaying his.  Oh, wait, I get it.

“They don’t look unhappy at all, dude!”  I know, right?  It’s actually only the woman, Jenny Erikson, who is unhappy.  For some reason, she dumped her husband Leif and is in the process of divorcing him.  In fact, she planned to do it secretly and then spring a bunch of paperwork on him late on a Friday.  Yep, just like in “Office Space.”

Don’t get me wrong, men divorce women viciously at times, too.  Cheats on wife, takes mistress to Europe, moves out later and takes the money.  Wife doesn’t know what to do.  You know the cliche.  But yeah, 100% not the case here.  Let’s walk through this rancid dumpster fire step by step, much of it in Jenny’s own words.

Leif was my best friend in the entire world. He knew everything about me. He was my shoulder to cry on when I went on bad dates… But we were just friends.

Doh, friend-zoned.  But he kept orbiting her, hanging around, just a hopeful lil’ puppy.  Remember at this point the invisible alpha males (who otherwise do not come into this story) are dating/fucking Jenny, who keeps getting surprised that a guy will semi-happily fuck her but not marry her.  (The inverse is just as shocking for men.)  Anyway, at one point they watched a movie and it got much worse:

When it ended, he leaned over and kissed me. I hit him. And then I said three words that changed everything.  “Do it again.”

So he did. And we kissed. For a while. And then, this man that I loved more than life itself, but only in a platonic fashion just the hour before, asked me to marry him.

FUCK ME IN THE EAR… the sweet mother of God took a shit in someone’s breakfast.  A few minutes of making out, and Jenny agrees to marry Leif.  Slam, bang, thank you, ma’am.

Don’t forget when she hit or slapped him when he (after years of beta orbiting) made his move.  That was the last time Jenny was honest with Leif or herself for the next 10 years.  Maybe I’m crazy and in the tiny minority, but I’ve never, ever had an experience like that with any girl.  Not a single customer complaint.

I am guessing that Leif did not have the same reaction as Jenny.  I bet he was ecstatic, smitten forever, his cock as hard as it’s ever been.  It’s not love, bro, it’s beta supplication.  The wedding day:

Seven months later I… looked down to my groom. He looked like he was going to have a hernia of happiness. And the only thought that ran through my brain at that second was, “Where the FUCK are my car keys? There’s still time!”

In grad school we called this “cognitive dissonance.”  She did not want to marry (much less have sex with) this guy but implied social pressure shoved her over the finish line.  Two kids (they are adorable) and ten years later, Jenny plots to divorce him shock-and-awe style.  In a crazy bit of luck, Leif got word beforehand, and Jenny was annoyed the surprise was spoiled:

So there you go. My Pastor had actually told my husband, based on a fourth-hand rumor, without talking to me first, that I was planning on leaving him. That. Just. Happened.

“I filed for divorce last week,” I told him flatly. “I was planning on telling you this Friday.”

The insane part is that, about 10 months before, she wrote yet another blog post of love for Leif and celebrated their 10th anniversary.  So, to the otherwise uninitiated, what unholy horseshit happened between divorce and anniversary?

Don’t know.  Jenny said she has her reasons.  My instinct says she ran into one or more guys that (finally) tingled her vagina after years of slow-dripping uninterested drudgery sex on Leif, the poor dumb bastard.  “She can’t control who she’s attracted to, man!”  Right, but she could have totally controlled who she married.  “The romantic feelings don’t always last, come on.”  Wrong, they were simply one-sided the whole time.

Here’s the way a normal relationship works: girls fucks boy pretty much whenever and however he wants.  They really, really like each other.  That’s my default, anyway.

“Dude, my wife/GF just isn’t as in to sex as I am.  She doesn’t like the kinks and weird stuff.”  Again, she just doesn’t like all that with you.  I sincerely don’t mean to be cruel, and I’m not blaming Jenny for doing what she should have done 10 years ago.  Jenny’s bad actions started with not hitting Leif again and kicking him out.

Leif’s bad actions are an encyclopedia of supplicating beta male behavior:

  1. Acted like an emotional tampon for an undetermined amount of time.  Leif is the male equivalent of a poorly-skilled booty call.
  2. Showed impossible over-eager beta/puppy love by asking Jenny to marry him after a few kisses.  LOL.
  3. An equally impossible list of beta/comfort social skills and zero alpha skills.  I have no words.
  4. Consistent servant/follower behavior, to the point where he dutifully does her housework, lets her blog as a “job,” drives her drunken self around.  I again have no words.


Folks, don’t read this wrong.  No one says doing sweet/loving things for your wife/GF is bad.  Doing all that for a woman who is not so in love with you that she is your own sincere porn star… is a waste.  It will only make her despise your weak beta self more and more.  The best time to rub her feet?  After you’ve smacked her ass, fucked her senseless, and finished that post-coital sandwich she made you.

Believe me, she will be utterly, completely, incorrigibly  in love with you.  Hold on there, feminists, read this next sentence:  The first step, as always, is to be the kind of person who can enjoy with her all the stuff I listed three sentences ago. That kind of cool, intuitive, collected, fit, funny, dominant alpha male who occasionally hints at a soft heart and makes good money.  Be that guy.

“I dunno man, I’m sort of nerdy and I hate working out and taking math classes.  I’m not much of a ‘dominant’ personality.”  Then stop blaming women for not having sex with you or even knowing you exist.  The problem isn’t women, the problem is you.


Again, I’m not blaming Jenny for doing what a normal hypergamy-infused vagina does.  I’m not blaming Leif too much, either—he bought hard into the system of Being a Nice Boy, and expected the promised rewards.  Even now he is pouring on the beta/nice to Jenny, thinking that if he tries hard enough, nothing will change.

And that is exactly what he wants to defend against:  needed life change.  He resists it to his core.  I’m not saying it’s wrong that he has an adorable family or that they should have divorced regardless, but Jesus Christ does this guy resist growing as a person.

It’s definitely not even close to being love; it’s beta supplication.

(Additional thoughts from another blogger here.)


About Timber St. James

I used to be a galley slave, but now I race chariots.
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4 Responses to How to know it’s definitely not even close to being love, episode 3

  1. Eric says:

    I am empathetic to Leif Erikson because he sounds just like me with the addition of religion. I can easily imagine how he feels having done everything right, yet being punished for it by the person for whose sake you did everything right.

    Jenny Erikson is a stereotype and cautionary tale come to life. If she didn’t document everything on her blog, I could believe Dalrock, Roissy, and Rollo got together to invent her. Her rationalization hamster is nuclear, as in Godzilla.

    This post fits neatly with Keoni Galt’s latest post where he talks about Game as praxeologic and the dogmatic hang-up some Christian Manosphereans have about Game. I wonder whether Leif’s religious indoctrination will allow him to take the red pill. On the other hand, his (her ex) Pastor sounds like he’s got some on the ball, so he may get some decent advice from his church.

    • Although I would not bother arguing religion with Leif, his pastor does indeed give hope. However, his recent Twitter updates include his daughters putting doll hair-bows in his beard. Those little girls are adorable, and perhaps another man could pull it off… but not Leif.

      As long as he resists needful change, I don’t doubt he will continue to get what he deserves. Not to say he necessarily deserves a Jenny Erikson, but good God man: know yourself and your proper value to women and the world.

  2. Pingback: Today, the “American Dream” means clinging fiercely to your role as a battery in the Matrix | TimberStJames

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